do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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