but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
