no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
