i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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