I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Be still, my beating vagina.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
