Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize