Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
