I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
