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Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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