do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
