He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Randomize