I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
