i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize