i permit you to call me
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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