i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
