Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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