there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
