New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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