I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
