Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
