Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
