walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
