Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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