No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
