you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
