bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
