The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
