I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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