2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
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