i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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