I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
