You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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