hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
