did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
