Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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