I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize