im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
