Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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