Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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