Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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