Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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