how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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