Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
