"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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