sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
