Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
pop tarts are not kleenex
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
