4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
