Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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