Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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