guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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