id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
