is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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