Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
