none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
