Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
