I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
