I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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