those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
