No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
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